Alec's Worries
by VeniVediVici
Summary: My first Mortal Instruments fic. This takes place after COFA. Alec is still worrying about how he and Magnus can last when Magnus is immortal, and Alec is not.


A/N: Okay, so I apologize for the stupid author's note I put up yesterday for my current story. I was just a little frustrated that some people turned away from my story because they thought Bella was playing games, or that she wasn't over Edward. I should have used a better outlet than Fanfiction, because you guys don't need it, and it's probably caused some people to stop reading. Now, here I'm writing something unrelated to it, because I can't write the story now, because I'm honestly stuck as to how to proceed.

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"I love iced tea," Magnus said as he lifted the glass filled with slightly brownish liquid into the air, narrowing his greenish-gold eyes. He and Alec were sitting on top of the institute—yes, the roof—hiding from the others, who were in a puckish mood. Besides, they hadn't had any alone time in almost a week, due to monster hunts for Alec, or appointments for Magnus, so they were technically killing two birds with one stone. "It makes me think of topazes, or amber, you know?"

Alec had been staring at Magnus with an amused expression. "You just like it because I made it."

"Too true, my love, too true. I do like it though. I wasn't there for the creation of tea itself, but iced tea is a relatively new invention in my time." He said, and immediately Alec's eyes became down-cast and sullen. The subject of immortality among these two was a touchy subject, and although it had been getting better with time, Alec still had trouble dealing with the fact that sooner or later, Magnus would get sick of him and leave, never to be seen again. "Alec, honey, are you okay?"

"Yeah, I'm just…you know, dealing with the same old issues."

"Oh, Alec," Magnus said, reaching out and lightly touching Alec's pale cheek with his fingertips, marveling at the feel of the smooth skin. Whenever his love became saddened by Magnus' immortality, Alec's usual reaction was to push him away and stay hidden for a day or two. Lately, though, he'd stay amongst the others, but he would be upset and just depressing to be around. It killed Magnus a little to know that he was partly the cause of the problem. "Alec, you don't have to worry about this, you know. Didn't we agree that the best thing we could do was hope for the best?"

Alec kicked at a pebble on the roof, and it slowly rolled down the slope of the roof and clattered faintly to the ground. "I'm so sick of _hoping_, because nothing good ever comes of it. It's been nearly three months since that happened, and nothing's happened yet. I hate waiting, and I hate feeling so vulnerable." He pulled his knees up to his chest, curled his arms around his knees, and laid his forehead against them. Being vulnerable is something a Lightwood isn't, he remembers his father telling him once when he was younger. Lightwoods are never afraid, are always loyal, and above all, live for the Clave. And here he was, breaking all three sometimes. He was afraid of losing Magnus, his life, or anyone he cared about ever since Max died. He wasn't loyal when he'd refused to acknowledge Magnus to his parents. And he didn't live for the Clave because he was selfish and lived for himself.

"Alec…" Magnus began before stopping himself. Sometimes it was better to just let Alec release all his pent-up frustration.

"You're immortal, and a warlock, and amazing in every sense of the word. Me, I'm just a Shadowhunter with little to his name, not that it matters to you. I mean, you have enough money to do whatever you want. But anyway, I don't understand why I can't be immortal like you, too. It doesn't seem very fair, to be honest."

"Alec, I would love for you to always be by my side, but I could never let you submit yourself to eternity while you're whole family, friends remain here alive. I couldn't do that to you; I love you too much. And _please _don't take matters into your own hands, or go to another warlock, or even threaten it like some stupid girls have done. I actually know of such a case where a girl wanted forever, and went to extreme measures in order to get it."

"Did she succeed?" Alec asked, looking up for a brief moment.

"Yes, she did, though it nearly killed her in the process. Last I heard, she lives somewhere in the Pacific coastline, though I could be wrong." Magnus said, lying down on the roof and tugging on Alec's shirt to get him to lie down; he didn't. "Alec, love, please don't get any ideas. She'll regret doing that for years to come. She was in a situation much like your own, I'm afraid. And let me tell you, the glamour of being immortal wears off in roughly twenty years or so, so in about five years, I should be hearing whether or not she's still satisfied with her immortality. I know that for you, it would be almost unbearable right away. Your family is too important to you."

Magnus had said this so many times to Alec before, and while he did back down every single time, it never failed to become a problem almost immediately. It broke Magnus' heart to know that Alec couldn't let go of his insecurities.

"How do you know I'd break so easily?"

"Well, you're actually pretty stubborn most of the time, but I know you value your family. You could never let yourself hurt them by disappearing like Max did, though that wasn't his fault. But for your parents to lose another son? You could never put them through the pain." Magnus said, watching Alec's back slowly expand and contract with each shaky breath he took. He loved this boy more than anything else in the world, and this whole situation made him wish somewhere deep in his heart that he could become a human and never leave Alec's side, but then he'd have to learn a new trade.

"I don't want to be immortal, if that's what you're thinking. I just don't want to lose you. You've become so important to me, Magnus, and I don't want to have you leave me because I'm getting gray hairs or wrinkles or arthritis."

Magnus sat up and embraced Alec, letting out a breathless laugh. He was so happy that Alec wasn't going anywhere.

"Oh, my love, I'm never going to leave you. I'll be with you forever and ever."

"Promise?"

"I promise you that."

A/N: Okay, so this probably isn't very good, but this is my first attempt at a fic other than Twilight. Thanks for reading anyway.


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